I've been thinking a lot lately about the past.
So many of our thoughts jump back into what was, instead of what is.
We run situations and experiences back through our brain, reprocessing life again and again, hoping to seek understanding.
In most instances, this gets us nowhere.
However, there are times this heals us, restores hope, and even brings to life memories we filed away.
I like to spend time memory matching. I call it memory matching because I attach new and old memories together. Like this evening while walking, I memory matched the smell of the honeysuckle to the same smell the woods behind my childhood home in West Virginia had. Oh, sweet memories.
If I drink milk, I think of my dad. He and I always drank milk and had barbeque chips on Sunday night.
If I drink tea, I think of my mom. She and I have anthropologie mugs that we keep at my house and when she is over, we indulge.
If I see flowers, I think of my grandma. Her garden was filled with so many beautiful flowers.
What memory matches did you make today? Were they sweet, like honeysuckle?
It's not the remembering that hurts us. We are prone to remember.
It's in the dwelling, the staying put, the captivity. That's what hurts.
The unchangeable will always be there. The broken, bruised, torn, and messed up hang out and when you invite them into your thought life, they take up residence, lock the door, and throw out the key.
After a while, those sweet honeysuckle thoughts happen less and less and the past is nothing but a bitter memory.
What we need to remember most, is that yes, the past will always be there.
Let the bad things, change you, move you, and strengthen you.
May your past remain a bittersweet memory, my friends.
You are loved for who you are right now.